I’ll never forget those months leading up to the day my now husband, Joe, said, “I love you.” I had known for months that he did, and I knew that I loved him, too. But the importance of those words kept us from actually saying it for almost a year of dating.
Holding hands in the car or saying our goodbyes at the end of the night, he would preemptively whisper, “I miss you,” and I knew what he meant. Even though he was standing right in front of me, I missed him, too. The truth is, even though I was anxious to hear him say the actual words, he was dropping enough hints to make me feel confident that our feelings were mutual.
Here are four things a man will do when he’s falling in love with you, even if he hasn’t openly said so yet:
1. He starts performing little acts of service
In my experience, and from what I know about a lot of men, it’s often easier for them to express their feelings through little gestures and acts of service. Even though “I love you” had yet to be spoken, the way Joe would happily wake up early to take me to the train station, make sure my car passed its inspection, and fussed over me when I was sick was a sign that his heart was true.
If you are wondering what your man’s true feelings are, look at the way he serves you. Service is always the fruit of authentic love.
2. He starts getting vulnerable
Vulnerability can be difficult for anyone, but men often struggle with this aspect of romantic relationships, especially. In the early stages of romance, the focus is often put on looking good and impressing you. But when you love someone, you want to open your heart to them, even if that means exposing your weaknesses and your wounds.
When Joe would tell me about his day (I mean, really tell me about his day) and when he felt safe telling me about some of the things he was most insecure about, I knew he was telling me his heart was safe with me.
3. He starts making long-term plans
When a guy starts talking about “next summer…” or “someday…” there is more to those long-term plans than meets the eye. Love is a rare thing, so when you find it, you don’t want to let it go. Often, men pick up on this before they even internalize the fact that it’s love. They feel like this could be “it,” and they start making plans with you to make sure you don’t go anywhere.
4. He would happily take you anywhere
In the beginning, a lot of men make a big deal about boundaries. Things like guys’ nights and alone time matter — and it’s good for the relationship to respect those boundaries.
When we were dating, before we actually said “I love you”, Joe still really enjoyed nights with the boys and still needed some “laundry nights” (as he would call them), but I knew things were getting serious when those days apart became fewer and farther between. More often than not, he would rather have me join him with friends, with his family, or even hang out with him on nights he did laundry!
The thing is, when it comes to love, typically, you just can’t get enough, and so that’s how you know.
